PREMARITAL COUNSELLING FOR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

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The concept is that family should be pleasant when together. But the changing world order and living conditions are making family relationships more complicated and problematic. It is in such a context that domestic violence has increased sharply all over the world during the spread of the Covid epidemic. The situation was not different in Kerala. Premarital counseling has become increasingly important in this context. This can help to an extend to reduce the problems and misunderstandings that arise when two people from different backgrounds and life situations start a family. 

With this purpose, the Kerala Women's Commission is conducting a pre-marriage counseling across the state and GCTE Thycaud was chosen by the state goverment as the inaugural stage. On January 11, 2023, the Women Cell at GCTE, Thycaud organised a seminar on "HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS" in collaboration with the Kerala Women's Commission in the General Hall 2 of the college. 


The function began with a silent prayer, and then Ms. Sheena Elizabeth Varghese, Convenor, Women Cell, Assistant Professor of English, GCTE, Thycaud, delivered the welcome address. Chief Guest Adv: P Satheedevi, Adv: Indira, Resource Person Aswathy F.S and Women Cell Convener Bhagya Murali was formally welcomed. Sheena teacher pointed out even though women are at the top in the modern society, they do share a little progress in the field of work. Following the welcome remarks, the Principal, Dr. V. K. Santhosh Kumar, delivered the presidential address. He started the talk by pointing to the representation of women in GCTE. He also talked about how relationships between individuals are changing both in India and Kerala. He brought up the stereotypical perspective on relationships. He continued by pointing out how people are eschewing their own culture in favor of that of another. The formal inauguration of the function was done by Ms. Satheedevi.


In the inaugural speech she made reference to Kerala's male and female literacy rates. She then made comparison between the traditional and contemporary perspectives about relationships. She elaborated various activities of the commission. Then Adv. Indira Raveendran also gave the inaugural speech in which she discussed her real-life experiences with couples who are in a strained relationship. She mentioned about some cases filed in Vanchiyoor court. She also talked about the problems faced by parents in old age and the trivial issues in husband and wife relationship. She concluded the words by saying that mutual frankness helps to avoid problems in personal relationships, citing examples of family relations that have broken down due to lack of such frankness. She assured us that the Women's Commission will be there for any need. After that, Dr. Jayakrishna, the teacher of the Hindi section, presented the felicitation. Problems like dowry were discussed and the teacher presented not only the problems faced by women but also the problems faced men. After this the chief guest gave away the prizes and certificates to the students of Model Boys School who won the inter school poster making competition. the first second and third places were bagged by the students of Model Boys School.


Aswathi F.S., the resource person of the day is the Assistant centre manager and counsellor at the career development centre in neyyattinkara. She explained to us how to build positive relationships through exercises in empathy, assertive communication, and other skills. Students were urged to discuss toxic relationships and their personal experiences. It was an interactive session and various intersession activities were done. She gave us an idea on Healthy, Unhealthy and toxic relationship. In this the most adverse one is the Toxic relationship, and its first sign is possessiveness.

THREE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP

Healthy relationships: involve honesty, trust, respect and open communication between partners and they take effort and compromise from both people. There is no imbalance of power. Partners respect each other's independence, can make their own decisions without fear of retribution or retaliation, and share decisions.

Unhealthy Relationships: Healthy relationships make you feel good about yourself — unhealthy relationships don't. Lying, cheating, jealousy, and disrespect are signs of an unhealthy relationship. So is trying to control a partner. That includes keeping track of where they are and who they hang out with.

Toxic Relationship: A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. A relationship is toxic when your well-being is threatened in some way—emotionally, psychologically, and even physically.



Next, she gave an activity. All the students in the class were divided into groups of 2 each for the same. 2 people sitting next to each other made a group and they have to share each other's advantages and disadvantages. Some pairs came and shared it befire the audience. Towards the end of the talk, she gave five tips for maintaining a healthy relationship:

- Acceptance not Avoidance 
- Adaptation not Adjustment
- Empathy not Sympathy
- Assertiveness not Aggressiveness
- No Addiction

At last, Bhagya Murali, first year English department student, was invited to present the vote of thanks. The session came to an end at 4:30 pm.

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